Star Wars: The Silent Watch
by J.E. Max
Summary: This is the story of the true Chosen One's life and parentage, told to you by the witty, silently-watching Betazoid space pilot Daro Revan. In other words, a re-write of the entire Star Wars series. Very, very, very AU. Chapter Four: The Price of Passion The long-awaited confrontation between Malak and Daro is finally here! Please R&R! PLEASE!
1. Prologue

**Okay...this is my first AU Star Wars, so bear with me...here goes nothing...**

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**The Silent Watch**

**An AU Star Wars Fic by J.E. Max**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. However, Malak, Quinlan, Daro, Shirin, and Louis were all created by me.**_

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**Prologue**

So I hear you're looking for a good story. Well, if that's the case, then I can tell you one hell of a story. It is a long story, twenty-seven years in the making, a story filled with romance and passion, friendship and cutting betrayal, struggle and peace, life and death, and good and evil, a story told through these ever-vigilant, silently watching eyes of mine.

Perhaps I should begin by introducing myself. I'm known by many names, really- "That Crazy Spacer" (For those of you not familiar with the term, "spacer" is an almost derogatory term for "deep space pilot".), "The Escape Artist", "Lady Killer", and, to one person we will be meeting in the immediate future, I'm known simply as "Bastard". But you will call me Daro. That is my real name, after all- Daro Jacen Revan, deep space pilot and military academy escapee.

Now, something you should know from the very beginning is that I am of the species Betazoid. But let me also say that I am just as human as you are- I look, talk, act, and feel one hundred percent human. I cry. I laugh. I get jealous. I lie. I get mad. I don't need to waste time convincing you of that- if you're skeptical, those things will all be proven to you throughout the course of the story. I can assure you of that.

As intelligent as I am, I can infer that you are probably asking yourself _'Okay, this whole pleasantries thing is great, but can he just hurry up and tell me what it is that makes him so special?' _ Well, here's your answer- we Betazoids, like Jedi, have visionary powers. However, unlike the Jedi, our visions are always nonfictional, and whether they occur in the past, present, or future, we never know. Said visions are always seen as if they are happening right before our eyes, and one can never fully know when a vision is coming on. They can be of things on our mind or of things hanging over us, and sometimes they can even be like torturous daydreams, haunting and tormenting us by showing us something that we do not under any circumstances want to see. And if you're thinking, _'How cool is that?! The guy can see anything he could ever want to! I _totally_ wish I could be like him!' _ you will soon learn that being born with this power is more of a curse than a blessing.

But enough about me- this is all you need to know, at least for now. This is not my story, after all. It is mine to tell, but it is not the story of me. This is the long, winding, darkly-consoling story of a family and their epic struggle- and my occasional intervention with each member.

And now I invite you to journey onward from this point with me. I can guarantee you moments of surprise, shock, sadness, laughing, and even slight disturbance. I can guarantee you a story that you will most certainly never forget.

So you want a story, huh? I'll give you a story. Prepare yourself now for the story of the Kenobi family- Malak, Shirin, and Obi-Wan.


	2. Love, Innocent and Young

**Chapter 1:**

**Love, Innocent and Young**

And so the story begins.

We begin with a handsome, twenty-year-old Jedi Knight named Malak Kenobi. Strange to see a twenty-year-old knighted, isn't it? Well, he was no ordinary Jedi.

He didn't exactly come from the greatest beginnings. He was born to unwed parents on the planet of Mustafar, and said parents were both dead within a day of his birth. He was then dumped on his aunt and uncle's doorstep, and left in their custody until the Jedi found him.

Malak had one of the highest midi-chlorian counts in the Order's entire history. (Who had the highest, exactly? We will find our soon enough.) So sufficient to say, Malak was special.

Then there was the apprentice, Quinlan Jeshi, a boy three years younger than me. I befriended him when I first arrived on Coruscant , and I met Malak, who was two years older than me, through him. Let's just say that Malak and I didn't like each other even from the get-go.

He was highly esteemed, this Malak character. People looked up at him as if he was some sort of epitome of the Jedi: strong, brave, selfless, intelligent, loyal, obedient, and handsome. He was the last person they would expect to break the Codes. And it would seem as if they were so far to the left on the correctness scale that they were hanging upside down.

It began on a mission to Stewjon, a small farming planet with a war-like history near the Outer Rim. The people were just beginning to recover from a major rebellion, and Malak and Quinlan were stationed there for four months to help keep the peace.

Four months. It definitely wasn't the longest mission they'd ever been on. What could _possibly_ go wrong in four measly little months? Well, I'll tell you: a whole mess of things can go wrong in four months. All hell can break loose in four months. All the _wrong_ things can happen in four months.

Looking back, it's kind of funny to think about: all hell broke loose all because of the one thing that supposedly "makes the world go 'round"..._love. _

It started like any other crush. Innocent and young and harmless. (Well, that sure didn't last long, now did it?)

Malak and Quinlan were perusing the streets of a small township disguised as brothers. They were passing through a marketplace when, lo and behold, Malak saw the most beautiful woman walk by him. She looked maybe a year or two younger than him, and a boy of about eleven or twelve was walking beside her, kicking at the rocks on the gravel road as the girl yelled at him to hurry up.

Malak distracted Quinlan and then went up to the girl and purposely (and yet somehow not obviously) bumped into her. They apologized awkwardly, stared at each in silence just long enough to make it uncomfortable, laughed it off, then just stared again, both of them knowing that they had just found the one meant for them.

They talked for maybe an hour and a half, or however long it took Quinlan to find Malak and manage to rip him away from the girl. And in that window of time, Malak had already made plans to "sneak away and chat a bit more" that night. And every night after that.

How he managed to keep Quinlan in the dark for so long is astounding. It truly is. I can't imagine such a bright fifteen-year-old being so oblivious and easy to dupe.

But, like any other plan, the hoodwinking all went down in a ball of flames towards the end of the third month.

And this, my friend, is where our story gets interesting.

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I had this vision a while after it happened. One night, Quinlan awoke for no reason in particular. But it was only a brief awakening; you know, like when your eyes open for a split second and then they close again and you go back to sleep. Only, he couldn't go back to sleep. Something felt out of place.

He forced his eyes open once again and then sat up, rubbing his eyes and stretching. He turned to look at the cot across from his, expecting to see the long, auburn-haired figure that was Malak curled up into a ball under his blanket with his back to Quinlan. As you may have already guessed, that wasn't what he saw.

The blanket was cast aside, and the black night tunic was folded neatly on the edge of the bed. His boots weren't where Quinlan had remembered him putting them, and the brown cloak that he would drape over himself on especially cold nights such as this one was gone. So either this was a dream, or Malak had snuck out.

He pulled himself out of bed and slipped his robe on. After that, he reached over into his backpack and pulled out a new glow rod, snapping it to illuminate the viscous green liquid inside. He didn't have the patience to put on his boots, so he just slipped his feet into a pair of sandals and headed out of the tent.

As soon as he stepped out into the cold air, he could hear voices from a distance away. His guess was that they were coming from the lake near their campground. He decided to investigate.

Quinlan pulled himself down onto his stomach and crawled towards the series of bushes in front of him, knowing that behind these bushes lay the beautifully remote lake- and the source of the voices. As he neared the bushes, the voices and their spoken words became more coherent. Quinlan's suspicions were confirmed. It was Malak, alright. But Malak and a...girl?

The young Jedi poked his head up above the bush ever so slightly, just enough to see Malak sitting by the edge of the lake with his arm wrapped around a girl.

Quinlan, half intrigued and half confused, leaned in closer to hear their conversation.

"I can extend the mission," Malak said quietly. "Two more months, perhaps?"

"But how long until the Council finds out?" the girl persisted. "One extension will turn into two and soon enough the Council will know something is going on."

Quinlan gasped. It couldn't be possible. It just couldn't. His loyal, obedient Master was NOT breaking the Codes right there in front of him. He just _wasn't_.

Malak nodded. "I've been thinking about that," he said nonchalantly. "And all this thinking has led me to something: perhaps my place is not amongst the ranks of the Jedi, but here with you."

"Malak, don't do this," the girl said, reaching over and stroking his auburn hair. "Don't just throw everything away-"

"But I have to," the Jed replied. "Otherwise, I'd be living a lie. I want to be happy and not have to live with the guilt of breaking the Codes."

"So your solution to that is just picking up and leaving behind something you've been preparing for your entire life? You're just going to flush it all down the drain?"

There was a silence.

Quinlan receded into the bushes. Why hadn't he seen this coming? He should have known that, with a Master as handsome as his, it was bound to happen sooner or later. But why was he succumbing to his desire so easily?

"What about your apprentice?" the girl asked softly, breaking the silence. Quinlan perked up again.

"He'll...he'll be okay," Malak said. "Quinlan's tough. He can take it. And he is ready for this sort of thing."

"No, I'm not." The words slipped unbidden from the young Jedi's mouth. Luckily it was just a whisper, so no one else heard it.

"So I've made up my mind...I'm leaving the Order. For you, darling," Malak said, tenderly kissing the girl's cheek.

"Oh, Malak-"

Malak hushed her, and there was a long silence that followed. They just stared into each other's eyes, both of them love-struck and yearning for the other to make the next move. Quinlan's heart was racing, as he had a feeling he knew what would happen next.

The stars seemed to fall right in between them, giving off a faint light that was coaxing the two of them towards each other. Malak's eyes were the first to close, and he leaned inward, gently placing his lips against the girl's.

That kiss hit Quinlan like a slap across the face. He couldn't watch any longer. He felt betrayed, forgotten, even invisible. He heaved himself up with a heavy sigh, but he tripped over the glow rod and fell forward into the bushes with a yelp.

Malak and the girl immediately let go of each other. Malak jumped up, not at all expecting to see Quinlan's upper body heaving itself out of the bushes.

"Quinlan?!" he demanded. "Why are you out of bed, boy?!"

The anger in his face slowly melted away as he studied the most betrayed look on the face of his apprentice.

"You...you...have a _girlfriend_?"

Malak said nothing, and the girl moved closer to him, resting one hand on his shoulder and slipping the other under his shirt and rubbing his muscular chest to relax him.

Quinlan pulled himself out of the bushes and stared the Master down, his brow furrowing and his face growing hot with anger.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" he cried vehemently. "Did you really think that I would just turn around and blab to the Council about it?! I could have kept it a secret!"

"Quinlan, please-"

"No! Please nothing! You can't trust me, apparently! Apparently, you can't trust the person who always sticks by you and backs you up on everything! Apparently, it just _so _easy to keep a huge secret from your _brother_ and then just leave him behind!"

He paused and caught the look on his Master's face- shock, sadness, and regret all rolled into one haunting look.

"I...I'm sorry Malak," he said softly. Now it was time for the words he knew his Master was expecting out of him. "This isn't my business, and I never should have snuck out. I respect your wishes."

Malak nodded slowly. "Go back to sleep, Padawan," he said gently. "We'll talk more about this in the morning.

Quinlan wanted to say something more, but the tremendous lump in his throat kept him from doing so. With tears of anger, shock, and sadness all stinging his eyes, he turned and walked back towards the tent. After he was a good distance away but still within earshot, he heard Malak say, "Shirin...I'm very afraid now...for both him and myself..."

* * *

When Malak and Quinlan returned to Coruscant two days later, a lot of things happened. For starters, Malak filed his resignation. It took the Council about a month, but they accepted (reluctantly, if I do say so myself), and then they gave him a week to pack. All traces of him were erased from the archives; any data on him was lost completely. And from one second to the next, it was as if he had never existed.

The private quarters of Malak Kenobi and Quinlan Jeshi was not a great place to be during that packing week. After Malak's resignation had finally been approved, arguments and tears were all that ensued.

And ever since their arrival, Quinlan had begun to sense something a bit off in Malak.

There was pent-up anger. His remarks were more bitter. He was more easily bothered. His overall being seemed more unstable, distant, and cold than Quinlan had ever seen it. Sometimes, he would wake up, and Malak wouldn't be in the room. Other times, he would just randomly take off in the middle of the day. He was undergoing a definite change.

There was more fear in him than he was allowing himself to show. And for a Jedi, fear is like lightening, and the darkside is like thunder.


	3. While You Loved Me

**Chapter 2:**

**While You Loved Me**

After Malak was packed up and ready to leave, he asked me if I could take him and Quinlan to Stewjon. (I didn't know why he was bringing the boy. And I didn't ask. Not my business.) As much as I didn't want to, he offered to pay me, so I agreed.

A day later, we were landing near some ancient ruin of something I can't remember the name of on Stewjon. There was a sort of "castle", if you will, nearby it that belonged to the girl's family. Supposedly, that was the destination. And apparently, I was invited to stay as well, and even though I wasn't exactly comfortable with the company, I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. After all, there would actually be edible food and comfortable beds for once.

I will admit that I was a bit anxious to meet this girl, because from Quinlan's descriptions, I was picturing some sort of sexy goddess from another galaxy that would slowly but surely lure a man to his death with her beauty. What I really saw was better- or worse.

As soon as we landed, Malak rushed out of the ship and left me and the boy with the bags. What a lazy ass. Beauty doesn't mean you should get everything served to you on a silver platter, you know. But I don't think he ever got that memo.

Quinlan and I picked up as many of his bags as we could carry (I'm not kidding when I say that there was probably rocks in there), and when we came down, I finally saw said girlfriend.

For a moment, I was seriously convinced that my ex-girlfriend was staring back at me. _That's not really her, stupid boy_, I told myself. _You're seeing things. _Yes, that was it. I was just seeing things. Or...was I?

"Daro?" the familiar voice asked.

So I wasn't crazy. It was her.

I said nothing in response. I just stared. I felt like someone had just hit me with a poison dart.

"I'm sorry, you actually _know_ this piece of trash?" Malak asked, casting a long, well-muscled arm in my direction.

"He's not trash," she corrected sharply. I knew she was trying to divert the question.

On an ordinary day, I would have agreed. But on that day, I felt like the nastiest, trashiest, piece of shit that side of the galaxy. This wasn't happening. This just wasn't happening.

"How do you know him?" Malak demanded.

She didn't answer.

He turned to me, and I wanted to say something, but no words actually made it out of my mouth. This was still too shocking. Shirin Shang, the girl I had loved during my military academy days (I was fifteen, so three years prior to this) and broken up with over something absolutely ridiculous, was not with _Malak_. _Yes_, I broke up with her, but I regretted that to an extent that cannot be expressed in words. It was bad enough that she was in my very soul, tormenting me, and I was forced to think of her every day, but seeing her with this man made me feel terrible. I had left her so desperate for love that she had hooked up with that narcissist Jedi.

I spent a long time analyzing the looks on their faces. Malak: confused. Shirin: surprised. But in a good way.

I began to wonder if maybe, just maybe, she still loved me, and that there was still a small scintilla of hope that I could make her desire me once again. My hopes were then ruthlessly murdered as he pulled her close to him and kissed the top of her head, causing them to laugh and look at each other with those terrible love-sick-puppy faces that, on an ordinary day, would make me want to puke my guts out. But this was not an ordinary day.

He whispered something to her, and they rubbed the tips of their noses against each other and laughed again.

Make that two poison darts. Double ouch.

They turned and walked off, and the image of their linked hands instantly began to torture me. The only words that came to mind: That should be me.

Just as they disappeared from view completely, the boy staggered down the ramp with the last of the luggage. "She's pretty hot, huh?" he asked as he brought the bags over to me.

"Yeah," I breathed, picking up my share of luggage. I wondered if he would believe me if I told him.

He started dragging the bags up the stairs and I followed him, trying to think of anything other than Malak or Shirin or break-ups.

* * *

I wandered about the area restlessly, trying to avoid the others and find peaceful solitude at the same time. I looped back around to the stair case near the entrance. There was a beautiful, serene view of the lake over the balcony, so I decided to situate myself there. I leaned up against the railing, shut my eyes, and gave a heavy sigh. This was going to be a long, long couple of days. I just wanted to leave. But, at the same time, there was still a possibility...

I forced my eyes open. I felt someone staring at me, and it was making me extremely uneasy.

I looked to my left, and maybe twenty feet away stood Shirin, sparkling russet eyes focused on me.

I turned away quickly and returned my focus to the lake. I knew she was still looking at me. _Don't think about it_, I told myself. _She's not really looking at me like she's still in love with me. You're just imagining this, stupid boy. It's just a jealousy fantasy._

I soon heard soft footsteps next to me, but I didn't turn around. I knew she was standing next to me, but I acted like I didn't.

"Surprised to see me?" she asked softly.

I responded with a sigh, refusing to break my focus on that God-damned lake. _Now is not the time for this_, I thought. _I'm still getting over the initial shock._

"Daro..."

I whipped around to face her. "Don't waste your time," I snapped. "I don't need your sympathy now. Besides, you know he'd kill the both of us if he saw us."

"He wouldn't."

"You don't know him like I do." The words hung in the air and stayed there.

She moved closer to me. "What's bothering you?" she asked as she reached out and gently touched my muscular arm.

"What's bothering me?! Take a look around!"

Why in the world was I saying this? I was blowing my own chances. _Stop being such an ass, _I told myself. _She'll never love you again if you keep this up._

A feeling of warmth suddenly flooded through me. Her hand was on my back, rubbing gentle, soothing circles. My heartbeat probably tripled.

"Say that you love me, even if it isn't true," I said softly. To this day, I still don't know what came over me and persuaded me to say that, but it helped me make my move. "I know you probably hate me because of the past. But please let go of that. Give me another chance. I was stupid, selfish, and drowning in my own pride. We broke up because of the side of me that I usually never let people see. I have no excuses for the way that I was. I was just young, and I didn't know what I was doing. Please, just leave everything behind while you still can."

She said nothing and just stared up into my eyes. I still didn't feel like I had gotten my point across.

"Shirin, I _know_ how stupid I was," I whispered, not even noticing how close we were now. "But even though I know the end, I would do it all again if I could. I had a lifetime in while you loved me...kissing you was like being born a second time. Leaving you was like dying inside. I lived while you loved me."

A deathly silence followed. We just stared into each other's eyes. It was intoxicating. Literally intoxicating. My throat felt tight and my heart was beating so loudly I was afraid she could hear it. Unbidden, we moved even closer to each other. I didn't notice what was happening.

"Daro, I don't care what Malak says," she whispered. We were now so, so close. "Even if he hates you...I just want you to know that you're all I ever wanted, and you always have been." She paused and took a deep breath. "And I truly..._deeply_...love you."

Her eyes slowly closed, and she leaned inward as her soft, delicate lips found their way to mine, her hands creeping up my body and wrapping around my neck. My hands, controlled by a mind of their own, slipped down to the small of her waist and pressed her close against me. I inhaled the familiar scent, welcomed it, and let it take control of me.

The kisses started out soft, gentle, and expressive, but they became more and more passionate as the minutes passed. She reached up and ran her hands through my short, dark hair, driving me absolutely wild with the gesture. She tasted so soft and sweet, like something every man dreams of (yes, even at age eighteen).

This…_reunion_ was everything I had been dreaming of for the longest time, and what should have felt _so_ wrong – couldn't have felt more right.

We paused for a moment to catch our breath, and we exchanged smiles. She laughed, and the mischievous look in those chocolate eyes told me that this was only the beginning.

The velvety tip of my nose rubbed against hers, and my lips moved back down and found hers again, my hands caressing her back and pressing her even closer against me. I couldn't possibly go any higher.

I wish it had never ended. But unfortunately, it did. And in the worst way possible, too.

At first, we heard the heavy footsteps, but we remained undaunted and continued our passionate display. It wasn't until we heard Malak's voice that we stopped.

"Shirin, have you seen my – "

He gasped.

I turned around, but I didn't remove my hands from her waist.

Malak's face grew red hot with rage. He clenched his fists, azure eyes narrowed to slits.

"I should have known!" he exploded. "I should have known that this bastard was that old boyfriend of yours!"

Shirin ripped herself away from my grasp and ran over to him, trying to hold him and calm him down.

"Malak, please…this isn't what you think…"

He pushed her away, but she ran after him and tried to calm him down again. The attempt once again proved futile.

"STOP!" he roared. "I should have known that you still had feelings for that trash!"

"Malak – "

He pushed her into the ground violently.

"YOU!" he screamed, turning to me. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! You can't just take her from me! You can't turn her against me!"

"You have done that yourself!" I barked back bravely.

You know, I had always sensed a little bit of darkness in Malak. Sometimes he kept it at bay. Other times it was apparent. But now, it was swallowing him whole. These feelings were justified when Malak lifted up one arm, gave me a death stare, and used some freaky Force power on me.

My hand, not controlled by me, slipped up and wrapped around my throat, and I began to strangle myself.

Breathing soon became next to impossible. My vision began to blur, and I knew Shirin was screaming at him to stop, but I couldn't hear it.

Suddenly, something made him stop, and he threw me into the wall. He yelled something at Shirin and stomped off angrily. I could just barely hear him screaming.

I didn't even bother getting up. Shirin rushed over to me, asking if I was okay and then helping me up.

My head was throbbing, but my anger helped me push through it. I walked off, ignoring Shirin yelling after me and following the muddy bootprints on the floor. I needed to find Malak. I needed to settle the score. I needed to teach him a lesson. He had gone too far. He was in for an ass-kicking.

He didn't know me. He didn't know what I was capable of. But he was about to learn.

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***This chapter was inspired by the Rascal Flatts song "While You Loved Me". It's a good song...please listen to it...please...***

** - The Max**


	4. The Price of Passion

**Chapter 3:**

**The Price of Passion**

Just as I was rounding a corner and leaving behind a bawling Shirin, my sight began to fog up, and I slipped into a vision.

Dark storm clouds hung overhead. Lightening cut through the air like an over-sharpened knife and thunder rattled the ground. Malak pulled himself over the shattered remains of a stone building and walked over to the jagged edge of an enormous broken stone bridge. He stood there and stared down into the bottomless abyss as tears began to stream down his cheeks. He cursed under his breath and reached down to pick up one of the small pebbles by his feet. With a furious howl, he chucked the rock into the abyss and watched it sink into the never-ending darkness.

The vision faded away.

I blinked furiously as I returned to the normal world. _So he is at the Ruins,_ I thought. _The perfect place for a fight._

And a fight I wasn't planning on losing, either.

* * *

As I pulled myself up over one of the remnants, Malak's back as well as the broken bridge came into view. I could hear him crying and see his body shaking. It felt good to know that _I _had made Malak Horan Kenobi, of all people, cry.

I waited for him to sense my Force aura and turn around. When he did, the first thing I noticed in his glassy eyes other than the pure hatred was a red ring around his normal blue-gray eyes – a ring of the darkside.

"You're going to pay," he growled. "_With your life_."

It was hard to take him seriously when he was crying. He sounded so…juvenile and whiney.

The red ring's significance suddenly hit me. "_I KNEW YOU WERE EVIL!_" I screamed, suddenly forgetting about what had brought me here. If he was evil, that was even more of a legitimate excuse that I needed to make sure he didn't live to see another sunrise.

Malak looked taken aback, but he did not bother denying anything like I expected him to.

"Oh, you're mad?" he said hotly. "Well, come at me! Let's see what _Shirin_ says about you killing me! You want to get rid of _me_ so that you can have her all to yourself! Well, take a hint bastard - whether you kill me or not, she will never, and I mean _ever_, love you! GET OVER IT! YOU…HAVE…LOST!"

I let out a growl as my face grew hot with anger. Driven forward by every ounce of the rage that was now consuming my body, I charged at him and grabbed him by the neck. He did the same to me.

I could feel his hot, short breath on my face, and surely he was feeling mine as we grappled with each other and tried to break free.

"Let's finish this like men, Malak," I snarled. (Food for thought: we were on the _edge_ of the bridge.)

"Do it!" he retorted. "Don't be afraid to kill me! Just wait and see how your _girl_ takes it!"

He was funny. He thought he could scare me out of mangling him.

I felt a surge of compulsory anger. I kneed him in a place I really wish I hadn't, and his hands went a bit slack on me as he doubled over in pain. I took advantage of the moment and, relying on my anger for my strength, _pulled us over the edge of the bridge_. (A bit drastic, I know. But what can I say? Anger makes me do crazy things.)

Down we plummeted, straight into darkness, still holding on to each other. I was pretty sure I was on top, so I began to violently slam him into the rock foundation of the bridge, still keeping a choke hold on his neck. He was kicking at me and trying to punch me, and he actually got me a couple of times and it hurt like crazy, but the more he swung at me, the harder I slammed. I was so focused on mauling him and letting out all of my anger that I didn't even scream once. Malak, on the other hand, was screaming, or at least he was _trying_ to, but I guess the screams never made it out.

I could feel him weakening – his punches were slowing, and more and more of his blood was spilling upward onto my body. I gave one final slam that I released all my anger, past and present, into, and then we hit the bottom.

We went flying in opposite directions - he quite literally flew, and I slid on the floor.

I didn't get up or even open my eyes. Every part of my body hurt like hell, and the back of my head was throbbing again. I knew I had maybe a couple of bruises and a gash or two, but I felt like every bone in my body was broken. I knew they weren't, but I couldn't help thinking about it.

I weakly touched a hand to my face, which was very sticky and covered in blood that was not my own. I was covered in his blood. _Great_.

I kind of just wanted to lie there and die. I mean, the chances of our bodies being found were little to none, and it would take a while to regain enough energy to stand up and find my way out. At that point, death just seemed like the more convenient option. I figured it was coming pretty soon, anyway. If the festering wounds didn't take me first, then Malak probably would've –

_Malak_. The name hit me like a brick wall.

I immediately regained my strength and jumped up, pulling my blaster into my hand and whipping around all in one swift motion. I had expected to see Malak, bloody and half-alive, waiting behind me with his lightsaber already in hand and ready to decapitate me.

But no.

Instead, I saw him lying completely still in a pool of his own blood, and he was maybe thirty feet or so away.

_Careful_, I told myself. _It could be a trick._

I slowly walked towards him with the gun pointed out in front of me. As I got closer, I realized how much blood was splattered all over the ground. I slowly tilted my head down to get an eyeful, and I immediately wished I hadn't. It was bad. And I mean_ bad_.

_I killed him_, I thought, swallowing extremely hard. _I killed him._

"What have I done?" I whispered as I knelt down and my common sense suddenly returned to me. What _had_ I done? I had done something awful and unforgivable. And all it took was really seeing him dead to realize that.

I began to breathe really hard, and there were tears stinging the back of my eyes as I put the gun back into its holster. I had been tempted to pull the trigger, just to make sure that he really was dead, but I just couldn't bring myself to do so. I had already done enough damage.

I got up and turned around, letting the tears break free of the dam at the back of my eyes. _What have I done?_ I asked myself again. I had just _killed _someone! Evil or not, I had just murdered a person! How would I be able to live with myself knowing that I had just taken the life of another person over something so trivial? Why had I let my anger get the best of me? What would Quinlan say? What would _Shirin _say? Why in the goddammed world had I done this?!

I covered my face with my hand and sat down, all of my questions still unanswered and destined to remain that way until the end of time. I pulled my knees up to my chest and then buried my face into them, crying openly.

* * *

It took me a really long time to figure out how to get back.

Now I _really_ wanted to leave. I didn't want to deal with Quinlan, and _definitely _not Shirin. But when I got back, Quinlan was the first thing I saw.

"Hey, Daro!" he said cheerfully. He looked like he had just taken a bath. Either that or he had gone for a swim. "Where've you been?"

I didn't say anything and just kind of stared down at my feet.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "You don't look so good. I think you should lie down, take a bath, maybe get some rest…"

I walked around him and gave him a reassuring little pat on the shoulder.

I started off towards my sleeping quarters, already making plans to go in and hide under the covers in the dark until I died or the authorities took me to prison for committing homicide. I was just coming around the corner when I bumped into the last person I wanted to see: _Shirin_.

"Daro?" she asked gently. She looked a bit worried. "Where's Malak?"

She looked around, as if she was expecting to see him somewhere behind me. When she realized that there was nothing to see, she refocused her attention to my bloody face and tattered, blood-stained clothing. And she needed no explanation.

"No…" she said, her voice cracking and her breathing hardening. "You didn't... you _wouldn't_ …." Tears were forming in her eyes.

"Shirin…"I breathed softly, putting a hand on her back, "I…I'm _sorry_…I just…he – "

She pushed me aside as tears flew from her eyes like bombs from a cannon. She rushed over to the edge of the open-air hallway and griped the hand railings tightly as sobs escaped her mouth.

"I…have…to…find him…" she managed between sobs as she stared off into the stormy sky. I knew she wasn't talking to me.

She turned around and rushed in the opposite direction, pushing me into the wall in her haste to leave.

Wow. I had just won her back and then broken her heart again. Now she _really_ hated me. Just another reason for me to be depressed.

Tears poured down my face as I made a beeline for my quarters. I didn't even bother to turn the lights on and dove straight into my bed, not caring at all that my clothing would stain the sheets. I buried my head under the pillow and just screamed as loud as humanly possible. Then I pulled the covers over myself, curled up into a ball, and cried until it hurt.

* * *

**Okay...the next chapter may take a while to get here...I have a crossover series to finish first. But I can guarantee that it will be here soon enough! And if this chapter was not exactly what you were expecting, please just stay tuned because the next couple of chapters are really, really dark! Reviews would be much appreciated! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE!**

**-The Max**


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